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Dauphin
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fiendishly-nerdy:

if someone “fights like a girl” you should be absolutely terrified of them have ever seen a girl fight they’ll rip your fucking throat out with their hands while the guys are still doing that weird cobra posturing thing for five minutes 

herestothegirlthatwreckedmyworld:

wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS

SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.

ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”

Omg

deucebowl:

a fancy asian restaurant called “Suit and Thai”

sparrowsandcats:

 also could the world quit telling bisexual people that theyre pansexual okay if a person identifies as bisexual theyre fuckin bisexual, if a person identifies as pansexual then theyre fuckin pansexual youre not the fuckin orientation police 

huffingtonpost:

Learn more ridiculously easy things you can do to help save the earth every day here. 

tomthebluellama:

hellarat:

madmaninachair:

Do you ever memorize a person’s voice? Like you can construct a sentence in your mind that that person’s never said, and yet you hear them say it.

Is that a thing people can do?????????

yea 

cradily:

slutcentre:

did u know u can have a sleep over with ur friend without having a 200 second snapchat story????? :)

sounds like you werent invited to that sleepover..

tinalikesbutts:

Okay never say that period pains aren’t that bad because one time I had an ovarian cyst that burst before they found it, and when the doctor saw how big it was, he asked me, “How were you not screaming in pain?”

And my response was, “Oh, I thought they were just cramps.”

farted:

omFG I named my printer Meatballs the other day and when I turned on my computer omfg

-annoying:

i want flawless eyebrows and $100,000

littleladyraven:

totallyfubar:

Three dimensional characters for the win.

"It feels better, right?" is the part that gets me, because it explains everything about Flash ever.

11 hours ago notes: 265941
original: rouxx · via sanfrisko

tupacabra:

i dialed 666 and it rang twice and then went to voicemail??? the devil fckin SAW that i was calling, decided i wasn’t worth his time, and hit decline???? wow. fuck a fake friend where ya real friends at…………….

zooeyclairedeschanel:

zooeyclairedeschanel:

something went horribly wrong and dylan sprouse came out looking like a hot teen boy and cole’s crusty ass is out here lookin like a damn founding father of the united states

image

image

is it just me or did cole sprouse lowkey acknowledge my tumblr post